A post-mortem examination after it eventually starved to death proved conclusively that the creature was, more or less, purple. The ambiguity of the creature arose during its first run on Broadway: Was it a he or a she or an it? Was it Aye-sexual, Be-sexual, See-sexual, or Try (anything once)-sexual? Was it actually purple or did it eat purple people? In response to the play, viewers drew pictures from memory that show a "people eater" colored purple. "Don’t ask a stupid question." Martin told National Enquirer, “It should be written 'flying purple-people eater' to make clearer the apparent intent that 'purple' refers to the people eaten". Monsterologist, Don Martin, discussed the character of One-eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eaters, and he noted a total lack of respect for purple people. He said eating purple people, and it sure is fine. The monster is a confessed non-vegetarian and prefers purple people to eat, as revealed in the following lyrics from the drama: Characteristics Mundane OntologyĪlthough better known to adults, the creature was an extraterrestrial one-eyed one-horned Flying Purple People Eater, who presumably originated from the planet Iilewq, which is believed by those so inclined to orbit both of the Ofoni systems. Pablo Picasso's bogus rendition of the Flying Purple People Eater. Later, the alien became a minor pop star who also appeared on stage, radio, and the silver screen. The creature also landed the leading role in My Stepdad's a One-eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eater, in which it portrayed the Stepdad. Being unable to eat much of anything but grapes and plums, while raisins and prunes were a bit too dark for the finicky creature's palate, the Purple People Eater switched its focus to a career in show business.Īlthough no real substitute for purple people, the monster's foray into the entertainment industry was met with a modicum of success when it played a background actor in such television shows as Twilight Zone and The Ed Sullivan Show. The situation became more complex when the beast finally realized there are no purple people on Earth other than small children who try to retaliate against their parental figures and patients suffering from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. The standing hypothesis is that the creature came from a planet of Purple People Eaters who were probably running low on food. Upon entering Earth's rarified atmosphereb the creature also gained the useful ability to fly - which made having wings all the more sensible. The One-eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eater was an alien with a single eye and horn who descended on our planet simply to hunt for purple people.
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